My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slower to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
James 1:19-20

I find myself quite often having to apologize for comments said during an emotional debate or conversation. I hope some of you reading this can understand my frustration at myself. Maybe you have been there. Facebook is dangerous for people like me, because I cannot help but make comments about others' beliefs and statements. I love the subtitle of James referring to this as “Taming the Tongue,” while Solomon referred to the act of holding our emotions as “true wisdom.”

Emotions. Emotions move us to relationships and out of relationships. Emotions make decisions for us and lead us to states of quandary. Emotions create sickness, prevent sleep, lead to hair loss, and is the largest catalyst in a $30.7 billion medical manufacturing industry. Emotions get the best of us. Because we weigh our feelings with greater weight at times than common sense or even biblical teachings, emotions can be our greatest motivator or our inner demon.

Teenagers are driven tremendously by emotions. Coaches can see when athletes are suffering emotionally because of the diminishing level of play. Teachers watch for falling grades and attitudes in classes due to the emotionalism of relationships at school and home. Youth ministers can watch the emotionalism of summer camp with Tuesday morning home-sick blues and Thursday night spiritual revival. Parents speak often of attitudes at home and how their child has become so emotional.

So, what do we do? First, as parents we have to be “slow to speak, and slower to become angry.” In other words, learn to control your emotions. This is seemingly impossible. There are so many times I am upstairs apologizing to one or both children for overreacting to a situation. James Dobson's Focus on the Family suggest to immediately praise when praise is needed, but wait more than an hour to punish. Allow emotions to not rule your decisions. An hour? More like a day for me! In fact, Ken Blanchard writes in his book One Minute Manager that a great manager would praise an employee for one minute before giving correction or reprimand for a minute, then recapping the praise for the positive traits for thirty seconds in order to create a positive work atmosphere and control emotionalism.

Today’s teenage life is overwhelmed with emotions— honestly, much more than we experienced at that age or possibly ever experienced. We don’t and possibly won’t understand. They need you to be the voice of reason. They need you to be the voice of love. They need to know you are there. They need discipline as well. Step back from the situation for a while, take a walk, wait until they go to bed and talk it over with your spouse, your parents, others that you trust. Then arrange a special time to discuss it.
Which leads us to a second thought: Try to “Make Their Day” as you speak with them about the successes and failures. I had perfect attendance for twelve years. Yep, it is hard to believe. Do you know what I got for that achievement? A plaque at graduation.

Do you know where that plaque is? Because I have no clue. Take a few hours off work, pick up your teenagers from school and take them out to eat lunch to talk about it. This will be more powerful than any other form of argument or discussion the day of the event. Or go for a walk that evening outside of the house and away from the normal and family.

Thirdly, follow up with notes of encouragement. Just jot down a note and leave it in a place they will find during the day. Children compartmentalize their faith, family, relationships and education. Let them know that you are there emotionally even when you are not there physically.

Not only will these ideas help out with your child’s emotionalism and failures, but hopefully you will find that it will help your own emotionalism.